Written on 11:56 AM by nitesh
सूअर के बच्चो कब है होली
शीशे को शीशे काटता है
लोहे को लोहा काटता है
तुझे पागल कुत्ता काटेगा
सही बात सही वक़्त पर की जाए तो उसका मज़ा ही कुछ और है , और मैं सही वक़्त का इंतज़ार करता हूँ
जों मर्द होता है , उसे दर्द नही होता
Thanks to google indic , we see a lot of bollywood dialogues being used as custom messages in gtalk. The above four are those of mine.
It all started when I saw karan's message and prasoon was changing his messages in minutes coming up with new dialogues , this exited me and I send him खामोश बदतमीज़ and asked him सूअर के बच्चो कब है होली, this went on for 15-20 minutes with prasoon sending me चुप बे चपदगंजू finally and then the lord of bollwood gossip desi came up with masaledaar dialogues
starting from यह शादी नही हो सकती.
Thankyou google indic from now on i will try to never use english messages :)
Posted in
Gossip,
Tech
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Written on 11:47 AM by nitesh
This is the song which is running on my laptop since dk forwarded it to me last friday and i am scratching my brains to understand this song. But still i am not able to understand it fully. Other song is Kabeera by same band Agnee .
I am back to good old days of listening to Indian Ocean, man ye bawra etc :)
Posted in
Music
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Written on 10:21 AM by nitesh
This is taken from the greatbong.net blog post. I found this humorous and hence used it as project 5 speech in the toastmasters club.
Coach Man
Suppose
You have an abusive, self-obsessed boyfriend Pause (let's call him Greg Chappell). (Loud)Ultimately after years of abuse, a disastrous emotional meltdown Pause (let's call it the World Cup) occurs after which you dump him. Then comes along this other guy, (loud) (let's call him Dave Whatmore - loud) who really wants you with all his heart. You don't quite feel any passion despite the fact that there is not much wrong with him. In the absence of someone better, you string him along . And then when man 2 (Ford), the guy who really rocks your boat came along, you publicly kick the first suitor, call him over-eager and hence by extension a despo.
You surrender yourself to the new guy, while your parents present you with man 3 (John Em "Burey" nazar walen tera mooh kala), a two-time divorcee with kids. Not much of a choice. You propose to man2 who then turns around, says he finds you over-eager and spurns your overtures.
The Indian cricket coaching try not to use hindi word ---- this could be replaced with "drama" or anything else has now officially become a farce. Which is why I desist from analyzing the situation but instead propose a solution to the impasse.
Let Maninder Singh be the next Indian coach. Pause
Why? pause
Because this man is, a genius. pause
Don't believe me? pause Well a few days ago, Maninder Singh (India's premier spin bowler of the 80s) was taken to the hospital with his wrist slashed. Evidently a suicide attempt.
But then where's the genius you ask?pause It's this. Maninder firmly maintains that he did not attempt suicide.
What happened was Maninder, who was admitted to the Shanti Mukund Hospital Saturday, recorded a statement with the police giving an account of how the incident took place at his Preet Vihar residence in east Delhi.
Maninder told us his wrists were injured when he smashed the glass panes of the bay window of his home with his hands in an attempt to awaken his family on his return home after midnight Saturday. He termed it an accident,' as mentioned by a senior official of police
A force of nature. Loud
You all may be wondering how does this prove cricketing acumen? Well pause to be honest it does not. But of late I have been hearing that the main job of a coach is to motivate the players-after all senior cricketers don't have technical problems. And what can motivate players better than to see the coach literally bleeding to "awaken" the country? loud
And if more excitement is needed than the sight of body fluids on glass, pause Maninder, recently was arrested for possessing cocain can supply our boys with some chemical motivators that will surely make them "play out of their skin", increase their "speed" and hit cracking shots. Fast at one go At the very least the dressing room will be promoting "Coke"(another name for cocain), the irritating blue billion Pepsi ads will permanently be shelved.
Gavaskar will like the fact that he is Indian.
Mohinder Amarnath, who threatened recently by saying that
"if you think that just because someone's colour is white and his skin is different that makes him better then even I will begin using Fair and Lovely : so I can make my colour like that" will not complaint Fast at one go
Niranjan Shah will discover that Maninder is not very expensive and the only support staff he will ask for are some Nigerian men as sports medicine experts. (they will supply coke)
In all, its a win-win smashing situation for everyone.
Maninder Singh for coach. Please. loud
Thank you
Enjoyed giving this speech. Got awesome feedback :)
Posted in
Toastmasters
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Written on 9:35 AM by nitesh
Toastmasters project 4
Apocalypse Now
Let me take you to 2025
Today is morning of 6th Jan 2025, though my wife's away on business tour but has beamed in a holographic projection of her to wake me up. Even though we have met power demands by generating electricity through nuclear fusion reaction but its so hot that even ten air conditioners couldn't cool the house, I was hoping that It would rain but
Meteorologists are already calling it the year without winter. From January itself the temperatures across the northern India have soared above 35°C. Gangetic plain has been transformed into one vast dust bowl. The wheat crop has failed and farmers are committing suicides in hoards. Food riots have broken as the government is no longer able to control the food distribution. As disease and death strike with metronomic regularity, the smell of rotting flesh is all pervasive.
In a perverse irony as the north is sweltering under heat wave, fierce unseasonal storms lash the west coast. Arabian Sea has risen and much of the nariman point has become inaccessible- the city once bustling with skyscrapers has turned into a watery grave.
Mauritius, Maldives and Andaman islands have submerged like titanic went into the deep sea. Extinction of flora and fauna has been so rapid that the numbers of species lost in the past decade is equivalent to that of preceding 1000 years. Great Indian tiger got extinct long back in 2016 and the whales are no longer seen in the oceans.
Like India much of the earth has become a living boiling shell.
Isn't this scenario sound Apocalyptic. Such prophecies have not been made by the grass route activists who come with 'jholas' but by the world renowned 640 scientists and representatives of 120 member countries of UN in IPCC report (intergovernment panel on climate change).
CO2 , Methane and NO2 concentration has touched highest levels in the recorded history. These gases cause a giant greenhouse effect by forming a thin shield around the earth, trapping the infra-red radiations from the sun. In just right quantities they keep the earth warm enough for us to live in. But the thickening of the atmosphere in the past 50 years has disturbed this delicate balance.
Average surface temperature across the globe has shot up by .74°C in the past century. The number may seem insignificant but it is an unprecedented rise. If temperature rises beyond 2°C annihilation of whole life will begin.
In the past 150 years the 11 hottest years were witnessed since 1995.
Heat is on.. Action has to be taken now
Solution number one is to pump billion of dollars so that astronomers can search for life on some other planets outside our solar system and we all could go to that planet. : This is very difficult
How we can contribute to reduce the carbon dioxide level in the atmosphere.
1. Change your bulbs from incandescent bulbs to CFL ones , these consumes 75% less power and last longer.
2. Turn computer off when not in use. Then consume as much electricity as 3 60watt bulbs so avoid the standby mode.
3. Save page. Avoid taking printouts, take only when must, if possible take 2 pages on one. Get your all monthly bills, bank statements on email. Get off the Indian habit of putting everything on paper. Thousand of trees would be saved.
4. Shun use of plastic bags, although it's an old advice but no one really listens. Carry a reusable paper bag. It will help reduce emissions from decaying plastic bags. If Goa, Himachal Pradesh, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka can ban use of plastic bags why can'we.
5. Buy energy efficient appliances, next time you buy an oven, iron or a refrigerator opt for the models by manufacturers whose USP in energy efficiency.
6. Walk, don't drive If you have to buy a packet of chips, don't drive to next door take a walk. If you drive combine a lot of chores.
7. Minimize air travel, one air travel to Mumbai is equivalent to carbon emissions by 2000 cars.
8. Finally let others know, you may be conserving natural resources but if your neighbor isn't', you are still a goner.
There is no time to waste. As Al Gore a tireless champion for action on global warming says… "This is our only home and that is what is at stake- our ability to live on the planet Earth, to have a future as a civilization."
Let's not forget what happened to the Indus valley civilization.
Reference : India Today Global Warming issue
Posted in
Toastmasters
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Written on 10:43 AM by nitesh
Countdown for electing the next president of Republic on India has begun. Successfull term of people's president Abdul Kalam will end in June. This time the race is clearly one way with congress, left and BSP are expected to field a joint candidate and they are expected to win as they have clear majority in the electoral collage. All the parties are concentrating on choosing a candidate who till now seems that will be a political one, i.e having a political background.
Few days back names of Pranab Mukherjee , Somnath Chatterji and some other politicians about whom 95% of India might not be aware of.
Just imagine that Somnath Chatterjee is elected as the next president of India, how do you feel thinking about it. I will not be able to someone if he asks me about the POI, Somnath does not have the right credentials to be the next president.
Other name which popped up yesterday was of another icon ( bad to me ) Arjun Singh , vote grabber politician , mandal man , quota man , man who can barely stand erect leave aside walking. My mind goes haywire when I imagine him as President OF India. If he gets elected i feel ashamed to be an Indian .... no way arjun singh ... you retire please...if he becomes somehow there will be only quota and quota nothing else.
I can't think of a name who can be compared to Abdul Kalam. Is there no one of his stature?? no one right now. How pity situation we are in right now population of 1 billion and no one comparable to stature of Abdul Kalam. Last time thanks to SP who came up with Missile Man's name and others were forced to support the name even some were not willing from their hearts like Congress.
God save the country: politicians have already ruined the nation for 60 years , they are just part of problem , when they will provide solutions.
India is shining in only in those sectors where government has lossened its control or politicians has stopped interfering in it.
Other major incident of last week was done by the great economist honourable PM Manmohan Singh, The great Nehru follower of social equality that equality/philosphy which took us back by 50 years (read Gurucharan Das's India Unbound to know more) , He said there should be parity in salaries... why the hell it should be ??? . they work hard not loot hard as politicians do. We are proud of Indian business class who has took india on world stage. Government should concentrate more on producing more managers rather then speaking such shitty things. Get more world class institutes where students can study rather then making hullabaloo on quota quota to garner votes.
There is no thing called social equality to me , I am big fan (can't follow ) Ayn Rand objectivism philosophy.
Indians wait for few years the whole environment will change, younger India will soon join the politics, not as youngsters in congress party who are not allowed to shine more then Rahul Gandhi, otherwise the next PM's ( he will be) image will lessen.
Written in haphazard manner sorry
Posted in
India,
President
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